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Post by Shadow on Jul 12, 2011 21:37:53 GMT 1
With my daughter now dating and her sixteenth birthday approaching its made me start to consider how I'll feel when the time comes when she begins to make her own way in life. Its a strange feeling to realise that shes no longer "my" little girl but a young woman starting to make her own big choices in life and that as time goes on we will gradually play a less important role in her decisions. On the one hand Im happy that shes growing into a clever articulate and independent young woman but theres a part of me that wants to hang on to the last traces of childhood before we lose it-strange time at the moment  |
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Post by skintagain on Jul 20, 2011 19:58:08 GMT 1
my kids dont want to leave home.
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Post by Shadow on Jul 21, 2011 22:10:55 GMT 1
My boys dont want to either  And my daughters hoping to stay here if she manages to get into college to save on rental fees. Im happy to have em as long as they want-but my god we better sort out a meet soon-head is battered and I need an afternoon out asap!!! |
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Post by Banshee on Jul 23, 2011 17:00:19 GMT 1
The worst and the best thing in the world is letting your child work out their own way in life. For a parent recognising the fine line between caring and interference is very difficult. I've learnt through experience and admit that I have been interfering at times, but also far too lenient at other times. My youngest son has the best deal (as my older kids will confirm) coz I made my mistakes with the older ones, and learnt from that.
I was living independently at 16yrs and thought I knew everything. I now realise that I was still just a kid. But then I had to make my own mistakes and learn from them.
My parenting consisted mainly in "not being my parents". I think at times I was so busy not being my Mum, that I went too far and concentrated more on what I wasn't going to be, over what I was going to be.
There is no right way. You know your own kids and their character and personality. I just went with the flow. Made some good decisions, and some bad ones. Thats life! Its horrible and its great! But hey, they are gonna need someone to blame for anything that goes wrong. it might as well be their parents. ;D
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Post by Shadow on Jul 23, 2011 17:57:42 GMT 1
Excellent post Bansh-hit the nail on the head there.Its that balance between caring and being concerned without being suffocating.Think Ive been right some of the time-wrong at others but I dont think it possible to ever get it right all of the time and I agree that people are all different and so are situations-its a bloody minefield at times !!!
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Post by Jazz on Jul 23, 2011 18:52:47 GMT 1
Yes, I agree with the above posts......one of the key points being knowing your own kids and how they "work" or don't, as the case may be! I know it's a bit of a cliche but I think "being there for them" is very relevant. Like the other night when my 22 year old daughter came knocking at the door at 1 in the morning saying, to the effect that her boyfriend's mother's boyfriend wouldn't let him in the house!........so the camp bed was duly made up in our small one bedroomed flat! Life is for living for better or worse....support for offspring given when needed, in fact support for everyone given when needed (within reason, of course!). Of course, I'm divorced and have lived a lot of the time away from my children, through divorce and from working away from home. Being a full time parent and living 24 hours a day with them is, or can be,   a difficult job (but rewarding!?). PS.......It gets better when they get older! (and wiser?!) |
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Post by Ann1 on Jul 23, 2011 20:43:31 GMT 1
No it doesn't get better as they get older!!!!!  It's just a different set of soddin' problems!! ;D
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Post by Banshee on Jul 23, 2011 20:52:13 GMT 1
No it doesn't get better as they get older!!!!! It's just a different set of soddin' problems!! ;D Agree Ann. The probs never stop no matter how old they are (or how old we are) LOL |
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It's just a different set of soddin' problems!! ;D