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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2011 14:30:34 GMT 1
Sir, Luc................Sat..............B............oh! Bugg..........Master,
Dark Lord, Joey is well on his way to becoming a level two demon once we get rid of that angel off his other shoulder! No one has twigged we have someone writing his twitter rants as well................ those after the Goons game were brilliant. Reminds me I must promote that minor devil from level seven.
About them Northern Pheasants it's now past the Glorious 12th (not as glorious as you though my Lord) so you are allowed to shoot the bas............ locals as they fly by. Have been back doon the fish quay at Shields to try and get a machine gun off Ahab as he has contacts in the military. Some bloke called Lea Zes 47................out in Saudi!
I know there are plenty of people in the Prem League who have sold you their soul, but how many more players can you get them to buy before people begin to suspect it's a set up?
Mind you great piece of work by our Southern Branch in getting Cesc to sign for Barca. The Spurs boys are well pleased.
Got some more bad news though Boss in that Titote's move to The Red Devils was leaked at the weekend by someone. Been down below and got the whips oot to find who did it................ not found an answer yet but had some fun while on the lash!
Not sure if it has anything to do with me hid.............err! living in the ticket office, however the crowd was down for Saturdays game. Will have to work on that to get them back even if it means fixing The Mackem game with Brucie.
Meantime don't get concerned over your hand in the managers back passage I may well move in their soon and feed him his words direct.
Putting me disguise on for the trip doon the quayside to see Ahab................. nee body will recognise me as I'm dressing up as Freddy Shepard.
Catch you later Boss................lov..............kiss..............your faithful servant,
D.
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Post by Ann1 on Aug 15, 2011 15:23:35 GMT 1
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Post by Pollypeterborough on Aug 15, 2011 15:24:38 GMT 1
Deaka i have it on good authority from some one on ron'y retars well i think that's what its called was one of the yeds from spuds down the road from me, mind you some times can not understand what he is saying it is some one called polly i just wonder if she is a good bit of tot'y or a old crow just a thought in me head. just like the song go's deaka.( the wonder of you.) But hold out and tell Man U. to what till the last 15 Min's before the window slams shut. and we can offer 35m for any striker we like. he he. well off to training now back up to 6 pies a hour now its all going good burp
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2011 17:03:22 GMT 1
Sir, Beez...................Sat................Nic.............err! Shi..........Dark Lord,
Master things are hotting up at St Jam..........err! Sports Direct Park faster than your average level five tar pit.......all because of a Gaol attendant. How hard can it be to keep someone locked up safely, I manage it on my own!
Everything was going fine until Wodensday.................
I had just settled nicely into the team managers back passage and was listening to him give his latest press conference. Said to him whatever you do don't mention the bid for Rob Elliot................and out it came! Now we have had to back track making yo............ err! us.............Oh! bugger, I mean him, look stupid by having to withdraw the £100,000 offer. Is he mad chucking that kind of money around? You could have spent two valuable minutes playing the tables with that!
The good news is, despite that leak, the angel Harps has been pushed out of the dressing room and with luck will be on his way soon. Better still is that the hunt for a Stink..........Striker continues and the sea scouts are still not bothering. More positive news is that Clogger left over from the Netherlands is not arriving any time soon, if at all should we drag it out for another two weeks.
On the downside that Squid I signed from Ahab now has an Agent. Some bloke called Jerry McGuire and the bloody thing is asking for a new contract as it's replacing the entire back four....................
Keeps ringing me screaming 'Show me the money!'.............. had to take some tablets as I thought it was that daft kid reporter Ryder on about the £35m!
Have to go now Boss as need to practice my lines for tomorrows press conference before and after the Mackems game..............
Your lov...............darl..................pet.............err! faithful servant,
D.
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Post by Fairscup on Aug 20, 2011 15:54:32 GMT 1
I obviously should go on holiday more often. Some cracking funnies here lads. ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2011 3:33:46 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
This EPL stuff is easy .......I dont buy anybody, trouser the cash, can still play the tables with the excess cash and still we win, with no team changes and 40 mill in the back pocket. The loans now up to 200 mill and nobody noticed.
These stupid northerners would rather beat the Mackems than figure out I'm robbing them blind.
Anyway, which table did you rig tonight? Candy from babies.
Fatman
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2011 17:38:11 GMT 1
Sir, Lucif.....err!............Sat................Beez.........Oh! Fu.........Dark Lord
Master more good news to report..................I have finally shaft...... err! shifted that scouse person..........Joey Bas......Bartoni off to the smoke. No not down under to one of your tar pits, but to QPR in Londonium.........
Okay it wasn't to your mates with the spurs, but I got him as close as I could. That should stop him twitting about your good self and spending the money tucked in your back passage.
Your Southern slave Nile Warlock should be able to manage him no problemo........... More money saved for you to spend at the tables.
Hope you are pleased with this development Boss?
I'm now off to your managers back passage to rehearse my lines for the next press conference................ Bit dark in there but quite looking forward to that!
Your lov.............deares...........fonde...........faithful servant,
D.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2011 3:48:40 GMT 1
My Aunt Edna goes to the bingo with one of the tea ladies from NUFC. This is a conversation she allegedly over heard.
“Just leave the full packet of Chocolate Digestives love, never mind that 3 or 4 on a little plate shit”
“ Come in Alan, What can I do for you champ, need a few more quid for the Casino?”
“ No sir, doing OK now that you gave me this job”
“ Ok then, what Is it man, Derek is going to run round the pitch bollocky again in a minute, fluffing hilarious he is, why can’t you be more like him”
“Don’t know sir, sorry sir, but I was wondering if I would be getting those other 2 players now sir, especially since we’ve got rid of Barton”
“grrrr, can’t stand that git, anyway, your getting fluff all else, all the money is spent”
“ but please sir, you said I could have £35m after we sold Andy”
“ fluff me, there goes Derek, fluffing brilliant ha ha.. You’re not listening, all the money has been spent, remember what I told you, wages and shit,”
“Yes sir, but that doesn’t make sense, we have got rid of loads of players earning good money”
“for fluff sake man, your starting to sound like those stupid northerners out there every Saturday, you’re not listening.YOU’RE GETTING FLUFF ALL, remember that other funny geezer we used to have as manager”
“Houghton sir?”
“No, Sol Campbell?? £40 grand a week?? fluffing idiot…No the other one, old get he was, used to tell the reporters to fluff off”
“ Joe Kinnear”
“That’s the sucker,Charles Insomnia, classic. Anyway, he’s been on the phone, reckons he’s feeling much better. Now what were you saying about players”
“Nothing sir. We’re much stronger than last season. Added loads of pace. We’ve only conceded 1 goal. 7 points so far, I’d have taken that at the start of the season. Gosling and Ben Arfa are like new signings. We just need to gel as a team.”
“ That’s the ticket, now fluff off and tell that to those idiots at the Chronicle, they fluffing lap up that shit. Do you want the rest of these chocolate biscuits?”
“No thank you sir, you’ve licked all the chocolate off them”
“See that’s what I mean about you Alan, fluffing ungrateful get"
Courtesy Ian of North Shields--TF ---Classic
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Post by Fairscup on Aug 30, 2011 7:35:34 GMT 1
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Post by Nattfare on Aug 30, 2011 8:19:57 GMT 1
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2011 9:35:45 GMT 1
Canny.................... perhaps you should send in one of our Mikey and Decka offerings to TF? Yours for Mikey and my response as Decka. CWL  |
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Post by Nattfare on Aug 30, 2011 9:39:50 GMT 1
That's a brillian idea CWl.  |
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Post by Fairscup on Aug 30, 2011 9:54:10 GMT 1
Canny.................... perhaps you should send in one of our Mikey and Decka offerings to TF? Yours for Mikey and my response as Decka. CWL Check last line of canny's - it would appear that it is "borrowed" from TF  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2011 10:12:52 GMT 1
I did that's why I suggested he send in one of our offerings.......... CWL |
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Post by Fairscup on Aug 30, 2011 10:15:46 GMT 1
I did that's why I suggested he send in one of our offerings.......... CWL Sorry, I misunderstood - Thought you were suggesting sending in that particular item Still early in the season |
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I've seen Newcastle United win silverware!
