|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2011 4:39:12 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
I just discovered what FCB means....I object to them calling me a Cockney.
Why cant we just be friends?......I'm so lonely.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2011 9:22:35 GMT 1
Lucif.........err! Ibli...............Oh! Sata..............bugger, Dark Lord.
Boss if you are feeling lonely you can always join me in the closet.
Sorted another of your problems by getting one of them big squids you were on about the other day for the Geordies. That should keep them happy once the season starts. Disguised me self as a tub of lard and went off to North Shields. Amazing what you can get doon that fish quay on a Monday night. My contact (Ahab) reckons he can get you tons of whale blubber for the pies. All I need to do is wear a wet suit and float at sea near St Mary's Lighthouse to attract the whales then he will do the rest. You should see the size of his harpoon.................. well he said it was his harpoon, ah nearly fainted!
Oh! Shi...............someone's banging on me closet door again.
Your Lov..............Dar............Fluffy bu.............Faithful servant,
D.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nattfare on Aug 9, 2011 9:27:04 GMT 1
Hehe, these should be made public elsewhere too. Far too good for anyone to miss out on.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2011 11:32:28 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
I've known about your closet tendencies since your casino days when all your tables were bent as well.......remember how I made most of my fortune gambling with you.......Must admit to a little jealousy when I hired the cock-eyed midget....caught you and him in some compromising situations........he had to go.........do you know he even thought he knew something about football....I didnt employ him for that.......I was just trying to keep in with the yids.
You still seeing that Spanish kid on the side? It was nice of DW to get you a playmate....would have been nicer if he could actually play football ..........does he call you Pancho when youre
re-enacting those old black and white westerns?
Anyway...gotta go ...trying a new diet and different exercising.............less than 4 pies a day and genital oscillation with my left hand.
|
|
|
|
Post by Pollypeterborough on Aug 9, 2011 15:55:05 GMT 1
Boss man. What now dekka i have just found Newcastle regards form well i think that's what it is called still waiting for my new eye specks from specsavers. There is a **** on there called Canny he seems to know a lot about us we need to stop him getting on Tweeter. Are but he is a Geordie, do you think he will take Pads job as he lives in Atlanta he could do a bit of scouting for young boys on freebies, plus with him over there we can keep picking the team and tell them Geordies we are getting regular phone calls from him. Come to think about it Dekka we could be the first PL. Club to play USA Girls they would be freebies if you know what i mean. Any way i have to get my shorts on to do a bit of training, whats that no i am not getting them from Sp direct thy are sh** from there.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2011 0:37:08 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
That USA thing might be a good idea, I mean theyre rioting in Liverpool about the amount of money Dogleash has spent, same with Arry and the yids. But I think you really mean young boys and not girls from over there...dont straighten out on me now son! ......... Im exporting Shits Direct over there anyway, the Yanks are even stupider than Geordies, they'll buy anything British that says made in Malaysia..........Wonder if that Canny guy can get me some zipperheads over there and save export duties.
This Toon thing is really developing into a golden goose.......whats that?.....no stuff the football man!
|
|
|
|
Post by Pollypeterborough on Aug 10, 2011 1:47:43 GMT 1
Fat man Ur! i mean boss man.Them there Zippers are they the ones with the wick and flints? they can start FIRES, i mean if we buy them, no! i have just had a thought we could rake in loads of money on the insurance on the stocks in sh*t Direct, i mean you did say last week you got the last lot at 2p. a item. Yup like you say stuff the football. Buy the way the USA girls were for pads to soften the blow of getting that canny man there's a clue in the name. Dekka Get me half a dozen pies this training is doing my head in. And put on that record of (money makes the world go a round.)
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2011 12:09:13 GMT 1
Sir, Luc................Beez.................Old Nic............... Dark Lord
I have Good news and Bad news Boss................
The good news is it's not Joey Barton banging on me closet door. Found out it's the cleaner Florrie Capp at Shi..............err! Sports Direct Park and wants me moved to get at her brushes otherwise she will send Andy round to sort me oot. Crappin myself if it's that bast...........big bugger Carroll!
Didn't know you were left handed Boss and employing the Chelski Dwarf Dennis was stroke of genius as he made plenty of cash for your back passage, but he was only a level three demon and a bit dim. He was supposed to find me a Spaniard hung like a donkey! and ended up buying a gay striker that plays like one. Had to give Scum of the World, Keegan's mobile number to hack so he got blamed for the mistake. Only found out later they already had mine. Also thought we had court case in the bag, but the Judge was straight and wouldn't be bought.
The bad news is that someone else is pretending to be me and sending you lov...............messages about moving to America. Reckon it's a Geordie trying to flush you out into the open.........
According to my Italian contacts that Canny fella is a hit man for The Mob over there.
Blood............shi................ someone has started banging on my closet door again.
Catch you later darl............dea................lov........fu.......err! your faithful servant.
D.
|
|
|
|
Post by LeazesEnder47 on Aug 10, 2011 19:47:39 GMT 1
|
|
|
|
Post by Pollypeterborough on Aug 10, 2011 23:14:23 GMT 1
Boss man. Bugger what now Deaka. I have put it on all the blogs and twitter, that you have at last sighed a striker on a two year contract also i have put his name as Shola all we have to do now is say its Ameobi twin brother from a club in Peri no one will know where that is, saying he is on 17M a year and that is where big andy's money went.
Deaka that Bloody canny will sus that out in know time.
O no boss i have told pads to mark sure that one of them is injured when the other one plays. plus i have sent the dwarf over to atlanta masquerading as Frank Sanatra lost cousin as i have it on good information that they canny as mob connections so a good days work after all. sweete Ur Boss is that 5 or 6 pies.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2011 5:12:05 GMT 1
How Dekka man
Aa bin thinkin aboot ye an that big squid.............Hoo many positions kin a big squid tekk up to maek a big squad? Aa reckon a big enuf squid employed in the defence could tackel at least 3 opposing playors at the saem time. Aa mean one squid has at least tentackles ...right?........... Its less wages to pay oot and we could get Pardupe to play a squid pro quo formation....... a squid - 5 - 1 formation ...that way we wuddent need another striker(do we hevv any strikers yet?)......
Aam thinkin that I kin get the other whales in my pod ta mebbe join in and orca-strate things if we hev to git rid of Pardupe.............
Micky the Pseudo - Geordie
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2011 10:26:00 GMT 1
Sir, Mephi................Sat.............Beez.......err! Lord,
Boss your business genius knows no bounds and the squid idea is a gem. I have already got it to sign a contract in blood and having seen the size of its tackle it will be perfect as the teams entire back four. No attacker will come within thirty yards of it when they see what I have seen. Been on the blower to Ahab about finding a whale (Sam who ate all the rice has gone to West Ham so can't bring him back to annoy the Geordies) to replace Mr Pee that level five demon we installed as Manager. He has a one called Willy (I think that was what he said it was a bad line) that can be had on a free, sounds perfect. Ahab also knows a guy called Nemo who has loads of experience with Squids. I'll let Carver know he is joining the coaching side.
Will drop a memo to our trainee demon Ryder at the Chronicle this afternoon to let him know about this signing. I'll also put the word out to Dogleash that he can now sign the 'Cow' and to Valencia that Colo is also theirs. Have to have a think about how to get rid of Simples the right back, Sailor and Willow.
Oh! by the way Boss I'm now hiding in the ticket office at Shi........Sports Direct Park having finally come out of the closet. It's not being used for anything so is very quiet. Also had to get one of them Geordie Dickshunarys to understand that last message. Getting so good you could pass for a Northern Tw...... err! local.
Lov................Kis...............dar.............bug...........err! your faithful servant,
D.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2011 2:51:26 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
Only Colo and Smithy to go ehhhhh.....do you think theyve twigged us yet? No.........they're too dumb to figure out how shifty we are.......Hey I'm thinking with 5mill for Colo I'm in the black...............yeah but the loan I made to the club still stands at 200mill(slip of the pen there)
I'm wondering why there arent any riots in Newcastle.....I mean I'm doing my best to cause them............These Geordies seem stupid about their club , but on any other subject they seem very practical and levelheaded.
Anyway Dekka ....is Pardupe paying on time , I really need a rest and to extract my right arm from his back passage. I mean he can speak without my help cant he?
Mike the Magnificent
|
|
|
|
Post by magpiemarky on Aug 12, 2011 12:10:40 GMT 1
I don't mind JollyRoger and One Army so much - it's just a case of ignoring them but it is irritating to see genuine and often reasonable criticism of Mashley and Co being censored by the EC. Everything points to Mashley having Thompson House in his pocket. DISGRACE!!! Fairsy .....its never been any other way...even pre- Cashley........hey remember Anal Oliver? never thought i'd say this, but Oliver is far far beter than that ,in the back pocket Ryder.  |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2011 20:32:16 GMT 1
Hey Dekka
Joey did his bit ....just like I told him to.........he's so easy.....that little bit of extra cash I pay him on the side.....worth every penny.......Wish Pardupe would keep his mouth shut until I tell him to open it and what to say.............I think he actually believes he is making decisions.....talk about delusions of grandeur...... Anyway hopefully I can get rid of another player or two in key positions before the Mackem game....that should really upset these Northern peasants.....then if Joey can get himself sent off and banned.....its all coming together for me.....back pockets fat with cash....loan amount keeps increasing.......think I'll hit the tables tonight..................
|
|
