Post by Captain Marvel on Aug 22, 2013 21:28:24 GMT 1
Aug 22, 2013 18:35:03 GMT 1 @clearwhitelight said:
Fairsy if you are wanting a dose of sarcasm have a read of the follow up story from Mr Ryder in this afternoons on line version of the Ronnie Gill...Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew has revealed he and owner Mike Ashley have a "game plan" in place for the closing stages of the transfer window. (Well that should be novel as there doesn't appear to be much of a one evident during the bloody games.)
The United boss indicated that Newcastle must sit tight over the Yohan Cabaye situation with no fresh bid for the player since Monday’s £12million offer from Arsenal. (I think Joe Feckinere must be nailed to his seat as he appears not to have moved from it in over two months.)
After speaking to Mike Ashley in the south of France this week, he said: “We wanted to make sure we had a game plan going to the final week of the window.” (Begs the question what game do they think they are playing, Monopoly?)
The Cabaye transfer is still hanging over Newcastle and it remains to be seen if he plays against West Ham on Saturday. (I do so like gallows humour, and the thought of a transfer hanging at half time during the game against Big Spams Hammers is classic Mikey and will probably bring in more supporters than usual, priceless!)
Pardew said: “We are the sort of club where we aren’t in that bracket where we can’t dictate a transfer. (Unable to bring one over the line either so that bracket must be bloody broken. Shame it's no longer possible to nip doon the road to Swan Hunters and get one of the lads to knock another one up double quick like...)
“Sometimes we have to respond because of the position we are in. (Head up a**e)
“We don’t have the luxuries of Tottenham or Liverpool. (That's the match day bog roll gone for starters then...)
“So for us, we are poised and waiting to see what happens. (Ah! poised, good word that. I'm poised to get bladdered on Saturday it may be the only thing I enjoy.)
“We want to make sure we bring in one or two players who affect our first team.” (What? Like being able to play you mean.)
Pardew also responded to speculation that Shola Ameobi could make a move to QPR.
He said: “He’s been a good player at this football club and a great character and leader here. (OMG!)
“My position is clear on all players here. (It is?)
“If there is a situation where it is right for the player and right for the club, we will move them on. (They all have a price tag attached.)
“In Shola’s case that isn’t where it’s at.” (Sh*t his price tag has fallen off!)
Pardew is also determined to see off West Ham to kick-start Newcastle’s campaign after being drubbed 4-0 off City. (He may well be caught on video at the Central Station after the game to see them off back to The Smoke having taken all three points with them.)
He said: “We need to get a couple of results in very quickly, just for our fans. (Going by the failure to bring in any players during this transfer window getting these results in could also be a job and a half.)
“I feel sorry for them, the whole situation. (Me too mate.)
“They watched the team struggle and then seen the sending off in the game. (Thank god for The Dog!)
“Then a player with outstanding talent in Yohan Cabaye not playing is hard to take. (Why didn't you play him regardless then FFS!?)
“I don’t think it is worth talking about anything else apart from my players here all pulling in one direction to try to get a result on Saturday. (What's with all the crap above then?)(Also now got this vision inside my head of one or two of our players down the Quayside on Saturday night trying to pull members of One Direction, scary.)
“It is a chance for us to have a new start this season. (And after last weeks soundbites there was me thinking the side was prepared...)
“It was a difficult night on Monday. (Nah, my local had enough Dog to make it worthwhile.)
“There were a whole manner of things going on. (Must have missed that bit while at the bog for a p.)
“But we are certainly looking to put a smile on the faces of fans this Saturday.” (Yeah! but which ones?)
In all my years of following The Toon I have only once ever wanted a Manager to go and go quickly, and that was Sourmess. Just couldn't stand the bloke. I certainly don't put Alpha Papa in that category of ineptitude, however he really does need to start telling it like it is rather than all this current claptrap. His time remaining at the helm is precarious to say the least and IMO probably two defeats away from finally coming to an end! Then I really do start to worry about what happens next...
Lights Oot!
I didnt like Souness either but Pardew must be well in to the top ten worst Managers we have ever had. The amount of crap he talks is just endless. I cannot think of any other Toon Manager who has told so many half truths. You can never believe what he says....Ever, it is all pathetic nonsense.
(By the way enjoyed your post again!)
ATB
I've seen Newcastle United win silverware!
